1. Use The Casino ATMs: Most casino ATMs charge anywhere from $2 - $6 (plus what ever your bank tacks on) for the pleasure of spitting out more money for you to lose.
Instead: Do yourself a favor and either bring plenty of cash, or hit the BofA and WaMu-Chase machines off the Strip.
2. Dress Slutty: Do not take your vacation in Vegas to wear the sluttiest outfit you owned 10 years ago or as an incentive to buy a new hoochie outfit from Forever 21 that doesn't quite cover all your bits and pieces. You will feel and look uncomfortable and thus end up drinking more to stifle the insecurity. And God knows what that could lead to.
Instead: Dress sexy (there's a difference) in something special. Maybe even get your hair did but don't wear anything that could get you mistaken for an escort. Also, if you plan on wearing something short just remember that when you're dancing atop the go-go boxes, people will take pictures.
3. Wear Painful Shoes: Do not wear your six-inch stilettos or brand new Italian leather loafers for a night out on the town. Vegas casinos are bigger than they appear and just walking from the Venetian to The Wynn can give you painful blisters.
Instead: Try to stick with 3-inches or shoes that you've worn before. Also, we live in an age where flat sandals are cute again. The only exception might be if you wear those dangerous shoes directly from your room to the nightclub inside your hotel.
4. Get Married at The Chapel of Love: The divorce rate in America is hovering at 50 percent and if you treat your wedding day like an order of burger and fries at drive-thru, then the odds of failure have to go through the roof.
Instead: While Vegas quickies are cheap (starting at $49) we say hit the craps table, make yourself 500 bucks and elope in Vegas with dignity at one of the many new or classic wedding spots like the Mandalay Bay or the famous Little White Wedding Chapel.
5. Choose the Cheapest Buffet in Town: Full Las Vegas buffet for $11 with over 50 items sounds almost too good to be true right? Well it is. How is the food? Here is the opinion of one web reviewer:
The "scrambled eggs" seemed to be made of water and reconstituted egg yoke which had separated after sitting in the bin.
And that's not all. This buffet serves thousands of people a day, which means not only can it get crowded, but it also can be teaming with kids. Kids are awesome and all, but a room full of hungry kids on vacation and a bit of a hangover don't always mix.
Instead: The Wynn Buffet is incredible. Or if you want classic yet cheap try the Flamingo. Another option? Denny's is right across the street.
6. Log-On In-room: Do not pay in-room internet charges. They are often too expensive (starting at $12.95) and the connection is never very good. Also, wireless is rare in-rooms meaning you have to use an ethernet cable.
Instead: Try to hit up these free WiFi spots.
7. Drink Before Your Massage: Sure, it sounds fun to spend the day by the pool drinking frozen daiquiris before heading off to an afternoon of relaxation at the spa but massages are not good for drunk people. The rub-downs release toxins from your body and take it from us, you WILL throw up.
Instead: Book a massage for mid-morning (provided you aren't too hungover from last night) which will loosen you up for the long day of drinking ahead.
8. See Criss Angel's Believe: You will want your money back and there's no way you can get it. Also, evil bunnies are scary.
Instead: If you want a Cirque experience, you can't go wrong with LOVE which is set to The Beatles music. For a more classic Broadway show experience with a little bit of goth, try The Phantom of The Opera.
9. Arrive at the Airport 30 Minutes Before Your Flight:
Ok, maybe if you are a veteran you can pull this off. However, security lines in Vegas a legendarily long. Furthermore, once you check your bags and clear security there is a good chance you are going to have to hop on the monorail to get to your gate.
Instead: While the Strip is only about five minutes from the airport, allot yourself 1.5 hours to be assured you make your flight. Don't worry there are plenty of Wheel of Fortune slots in the terminal if you happen to breeze through the security and monorail hurdles.
10. Stay Up All Night Then Catch Your Flight: Don't party all night with the excuse that your flight is at 8am so you might as well stay up through the night. There is nothing worse than a crowded McCarran airport experience on a Sunday with a severe hangover. Not even the Oxygen bar in the Southwest terminal can revive you.
Instead: Book a night flight. That way you can continue the party on the plane.
Got your own list of things to not do in Las Vegas? Put 'em in comments below.