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The Dirtiest Pool Scenes in Las Vegas

September 16, 2009 at 5:09 PM | by | ()

Earlier this summer our big sister site clued you in on the Five Must See Hotel Pools of Summer 2009, so we figured it was time to clue you in on The Dirtiest Pool Scenes in Las Vegas.

For quite a while now one of the hottest trends in Vegas has been the weekly pool parties. These parties draw thousands of people each week and, well, some of them tend to leave things behind, both figuratively and literally. We didn't get our hands on sanitary records, so don't start thinking the pool scenes we detail below are the ones with the most violations.

For these purposes we are defining dirty sordid, sometimes corrupt, and on the edge of unseemly, and *not* filled with bacteria. However, cleaning up after these pool parties and religiously chemically treating your water can only do so much -- spend some time at these Vegas pools on the days we suggest and you will quickly see why these are the dirtiest pool scenes in Las Vegas.

Rio All-Suite Hotel & Casino
The Crowd: Folks who were big in the eighties. Actually the main pool crowd is more diverse than that. You are just as likely to see someone swimming with water wings as you are to see someone swimming while double-fisting Fosters from a can.

Attire: Eighties beach wear. Think fluorescent colors and straw cowboy hats. If you are straight dude dying to wear a speedo in Vegas, you can get away with it here.

Music: Old school rock and roll. Skynard's "Sweet Home Alabama" got a huge cheer from the main pool mid day crowd while we were on the scene.

Staffers: Regular looking fun folks who are willing to have a conversation with you.

Dirty Factor: Stripper poles at Sapphire pool -- no joke (Sapphire is currently closed indefinitely). Back in July, the LV Metro Pool Posse busted Sapphire Pool @ Rio. Folks like this girl were arrested for soliciting prostitution.

As a follow-up to the check conducted by LVMPD, the Rio decided to suspend the operation its Sapphire European-style (topless) pool indefinitely. The Rio pool complex remains open to guests; however, the property decided to suspend a topless sunbathing option at the resort.

Known '09 Poolside Arrests: 11 (all at Sapphire)

Palms Casino Resort
The Crowd: A giant VH1 reality show casting call. Plenty of ink.

Attire: Trucker hats, board shorts, flip flops, high heels, and tiny bikinis.

Music: Exactly what you will hear at any Vegas club -- think club remix of KOL's Use Somebody.

Staffers: Tons of staffers. You can't swing a wet towel without hitting a Palms Pool staffer. Plenty of size and muscle on most of the staff too, in case the party folks get out of line.

Dirty Factor: Feels like we have seen everything at the Palms Pool. From blow up dolls to Spearmint Rhino strippers, to pink furries in 100 degree heat. Don't believe us? Photo evidence below.

Signature Party: Ditch Fridays

Known '09 Poolside Arrests: None that we know of, but you gotta figure the LV Metro Pool Posse will be visiting this place real soon.

The Hard Rock
The Crowd: Mostly out of control 20-something year-olds and older men with money to lure young girls into their cabanas.

Attire: Skimpy bikinis, board shorts with loud prints on them, tattoos and chains.

Music: Today's crap hits.

Staffers: Could care less type of people so long as everyone gets drunk and gives good tips. Also, lots of security is on hand to keep everyone somewhat in check and to call ambulances when Jeremy Shockey passes out from "exhaustion."

Dirty Factor: Extremely high. We've spoken to staffers here that refuse to get in the pool after seeing what they've seen. Basically, just view it as a massive bed in a whorehouse where everyone has done it. Slightly reassuring: we saw the Hard Rock pumping new water into the pool on a Tuesday morning and it looked quite refreshing. But we still couldn't bring ourselves to jump in.

Signature Party: Rehab on Sundays

Known '09 Poolside Arrests: 8, mostly drug-related.

Accidental Conceptions: Unknown but believed to be really high.

MGM Grand's Wet Republic
The Crowd: Easily impressed Vegas visitors eager to catch a glimpse of the pool's weekend party host. Lindsay Lohan and Jon Gosselin are some of the D-listers who have hosted this summer.

Attire: Much classier than the Hard Rock with girls in fancier but still skimpy bikinis and done-up hair (that stays done-up throughout the day). For the men, board shorts and muscles still required.

Music: European house music.

Staffers: Good-looking folk decked out in duds from the new Vegas uniform provider--Ed Hardy.

Dirty Factor: Folks have said they could hardly see the water in the pool because there were too many people in it.

Signature Party: Sundays when celeb guests host the parties.

Known '09 Poolside Arrests: None!

[Photo: Wet Republic Facebook]

The Venetian's Tao Beach
The Crowd: 20-something year-olds who probably spent the night before at Tao nightclub. These people also love to dance more than swim. And since the pool is super tiny, expect to fight the right to dance around the edges of the pool.

Attire: Skimpy bikinis, board shorts, European football jerseys. Ladies, if you're confused about what to wear, this gal put together a helpful checklist.

Music: House music and today's hits.

Staffers: Sweet as pie to those renting out the pricey cabanas and daybeds.

Dirty Factor: You will be seeing some major make-out sessions here. But since space is so limited and the pool is so small, folks will probably refrain from having full-on sex here until they get back into their hotel rooms. Also, pink panties have been known to be left behind.

Signature Party: Sunset Sessions on Sundays.

Known '09 Poolside Arrests: None!

The Excalibur: Thanks to its Medieval theme, this place is favored by families with children. And there's no baby pool onsite so you can guess at what's mostly going on in this pool. Making it worse, the poolside bar was cited for health violations earlier this year. Apparently, there was "black and brown" accumulation in the soda gun nozzle.

Treasure Island: This pool is pretty small by Vegas standards and when we popped in on a weekend in late June, the pool was stuffed with tattooed and chained muscular men and tramp stamped ladies in bikinis. All of them, drinking and smoking. Worse, it's located right behind the check-in desk so this is pretty much all you see when checking in.

Flamingo Las Vegas: It's not just too many people in the pool that adds to the dirty factor. Actual dirty pool water hurts too. This TripAdvisor reviewer says:

The pool is a lot of fun but very dirty and there is hardly any room to walk. It is packed with lawn chairs and the ground is sticky with beer and spilled drinks. The pool water was extremely cloudy and beer cans littered the water and surrounding areas.

The Monte Carlo: Much like the Flamingo's pool, the water left something to be desired. This TripAdvisor reviewer writes:

We found 4 chairs together (a plus), but I thought the pool water was very dirty. It was cloudy and had pieces of paper floating in it - probably because of all the people drinking and smoking IN the pool. The wave pool was not working this day, but the water here was much cleaner and no one was in the pool. Of course I expected the loud music but it was definitely LOUD - forget relaxing by the pool when the music was on.

Had a dirty experience at a Vegas pool? Let us know! And just in case you're wondering--dirty can mean both something bad and something very very good.

Archived Comments:

Wow Crowded

I have never seen such a crowded pool in my life!
I am wondering why anyone would want to be within 10 miles of those places...just my .02