For unabashed cheese: Rod Stewart
We saw Rod Stewart at MGM Grand last year (in fact it was our first ever Vegas gig), and he was one of the things that made us fall in love with Vegas. His voice was still pumping, and his show was hilarious - plenty of jokes about himself and an inspired introductory video talking about modern music being boring and us needing the Rodmanator (like the Terminator, but with a mullet and thrusting hips) to wake us all up again. It was brilliant. And we’re not even Rod fans. At the Colosseum, selected dates from Saturday to November 21. Tickets from $69.
For divalicious behavior: Diana Ross
We’ve never seen La Ross perform before but we can only imagine she’ll be fantabulous, and very Vegas. The only thing that concerns us: we wonder whether she’ll poke fun at herself the way the rest of the oldies seem to. At the Colosseum 12-13 December. Tickets from $49.50
For aging sex appeal: Tom Jones
He’s a lot like Rod Stewart, we don’t like the fact that he’s turned his back on Sex Bomb stuff for Bible music in his latest album, and we’ve heard some stories about how he treated his old band that left a sour taste in the mouth, but still, we’ve heard the Jones show is worth a gander. Unfortunately there are no dates scheduled at the moment, but keep an eye out, as he usually does stints of a couple of nights at MGM Grand three or four times a year.
For childhood memories: Donny & Marie
Two members of VegasChatter now were never Osmonds fans, thought Donny & Marie would be crapballs, and emerged from their show enraptured by the pair and their sexy-but-unsexy cage-dancing Mormonness. Yes, you’re surrounded by old people, but you’ll be so captivated by the action on stage that you won’t notice. So cheesy, Broadway wants ‘em for Christmas. Although they’re extremely expensive. At the Flamingo, ongoing. Tickets from $109.50.
For those who keep telling themselves they’re cool: Leonard Cohen
We don’t want to turn this into a Colosseum special, but it’s hard when they have such great names coming up. Anyways, if you want some oldie fun but you’re too wary of tarnishing your carefully constructed image to let rip with Rod, try Leonard Cohen. He’s still cool, in that chain-smoking student way, and his is the kind of voice that gets better with age, surely? At the Colosseum 10-11 December. Tickets from $49.50.