VegasChatter

Time to role play! Not only do we get to put on our over-50 hat but play a Vegas Virgin. The big cheese is busting his Vegas cherry with the wife to boot, so we might even throw in a couples massage while we're in the suggestion box.

As a primer, we recommend Steve's boss read VegasChatter, of course. In particular, we point out a recap of EastCoastGambler's recent parental visit, also Vegas Virgins off the 50-plus variety. We suggest skipping the pre-flight Chinese tho. From there, check out what other readers named as top must-dos for Vegas Virgins, or even just to-do's.

Since we don't want to pigeon-hole the big boss-man, we'll recommend two flavors of over-50 Vegas: The Charlie Sheen and the Wolf Blitzer. Technically, Chuck isn't yet 50 (he's 46) but we bet that surprised you too so we're sticking with it. We picked Wolf for our counter-Sheen because he wears a suit but isn't so uptight that he wouldn't let loose once in awhile. And after a taste or few of our first category, Wolf's have been known to turn into Charlie's. Or is it Sheens that turn into Blitzers?

HAVE A DRINK
The Wolf: Mandarin Bar on the 23rd floor of Mandarin Oriental
The Charlie: Carnaval Court at Harrah's
Head to MO for a relaxing cocktail, but more importantly the Strip view. At the other end of the spectrum is the music, dancing, people watching, and big-assed yard drinks served by Carnaval's flair bartenders. Heck, start at Mandarin for a pre-drink drink and then hit Carnaval.

GAMBLE
The Wolf: Wynn and Encore
The Charlie: The Party Pit
It's Vegas, duh. Even the absolute most extreme I'm not losing a penny non-gamblers need to check out the gaming floor. Wander through Wynncore's table games to take in the one end of the action. (We'd have recommend swinging through the Cosmopolitan here, but there's no guarantee any, you know, actual gambling will be spotted). Alternatively, spice up the distraction level by gambling in a go-go dancer decorated party pit. The Pleasure Pit at Planet Hollywood and Pussycat Dolls at Caesars come to mind, but pretty much any casino has one these days. The party at downtown's Golden Gate even spills out to the street for the old school Vegas-minded.

FREE VEGAS
The Wolf: Bellagio Fountains
The Charlie: Welcome to Las Vegas Sign
The fountains are quintessential Las Vegas and not to be missed with multiple unique shows daily, both day and night. The iconic sign might not be completely Charlie, but there's always the chance of showgirl sightings (bikini clad even), winning picture ops with Elvis or a run-in with graffitti taggers to get the tiger blood flowing. No matter what scoundrel you encounter, have you best Valen Halen jump, plank, or owl, and of course a camera, ready.

DINE
The Wolf: Mon Ami Gabi at Paris
The Charlie: Buffet
This category alone could go on for pages given the numerous foodie havens and the fact the boss-man will need to eat more than one meal. But he's a big boy and we can't hold his hand all weekend. Request - no, reserve an outside table at Mon Ami Gabi (don't worry, there are heat lamps) and the boss can impress the Mrs. by watching those free Bellagio Fountains while chowing down.
On the other hand, Vegas and Charlie are all about the excess and nothing defines that better than a good old all you can eat buffet. From the high-end call girl Wynn, Bellagio, and Cosmopolitan's buffets to the low-rent hooker less expensive Excalibur, Luxor, or Planet Hollywood installments. Or just go all out for the gourging gangbang with no regard for your body by opting for the Buffet of Buffets. A brunch with bottomless champagne ain't a bad way to start the party before the cops show up either.

SEE A SHOW
The Wolf: LOVE
The Charlie: Abinsthe
Vegas is full of shows and Cirque is the biggest name behind so many of them. The Beatles-inspired LOVE is the best of the bunch so the boss can't go wrong there if going with the Wolf or Charlie itinerary. And he's even bound to know a few songs. But if he and the wife are in a coke-binged blackout don't mind some skin and swear words, we dare them to check out Absinthe.

With the wife in tow, we can't forget recommendations to satisfy her while knowing Mr. Boss will likely enjoy secretly too (or at least reap the rewards).

RELAX AT THE SPA
The Wolf: Canyon Ranch
The Charlie: Chinatown Spa at Aria
The boss is staying at the Venetian, home to the well-repected Canyon Ranch, so that's a Wolf no-brainer. The spa at Aria has more co-ed areas than the usual Vegas spa, something Charlie and Mr. and Mrs. Bossman might appreciate.

SHOPPING
The Wolf: The Crystals at CityCenter
The Charlie: Miracle Mile Shops at Planet Hollywood
Crystals is full of super expensive shops of course but if Wolf can't shop there we're at a loss who to send there. At the very least, the shops offer Vegas exclusive items of high end goods. For Chuck, Miracle Mile offers an only in Vegas multi-million dollar remodeled Victoria's Secret, tattoo shop, eats and drinks by Sammy Hagar, and even teeth whitening.

Phew that was tough and we didn't even mention the beauty of Red Rock Canyon, shooting guns, Barry Manilow's last (scheduled) Vegas show, ziplining, or jumping from the Strat. But that's what return trips are for.

While we take off and tuck this over-50 hat to the back of our closet for a few more years, how'd we do? Realistically we'd recommend the bits on this itinerary to Vegas Virgins of any age. What other must-do's do you, dear readers, recommend for Steve's boss, the 50+ Vegas Virgin? And remember, not only does Steve want a raise, he wants to keep his job (so skip suggesting a quest for Sin City's sexiest scooters).

(Photo: EatingWithKirby.blogspot.com)